The Day I Fell InLove With My Bestfriend

We were never cut out for relationships because we were too proud to be independent.

We were comforted by the fact that we never have to be alone in the first place because we had each other.

We get by. We manage. We move along just fine.

You had your life and I had mine, and when we stopped, we had each other and we talked, and talked some more.

You enjoyed the company of your friends doing the things not most of us can do at that time, but for some reasons even you could not explain, you found my company no matter how boring and dull and quiet, absolutely comforting.

You told me that really I am just a girl wanting to be needed and in need to be wanted, and compared me to a shell.

That being tough on the outside is just my way of protecting what is on the inside.

I resented you for telling me the truth and I felt the twinge because deep down I knew then that I was already losing a piece of me for letting you in and letting my guard down.

I remember that day you grabbed me close to you not wanting to let me go and you kissed me, and I let you.

I completely surrendered.

I only pulled away when I realized what it meant.

The day I fell in love with you was the day I lost my bestfriend.

I miss you. I miss talking to you and with you.

I miss the notes we passed to each other everyday.

I miss arguing with you. I miss you. I really do.

Neverwhere

It is not easy to watch other people live their dreams.

It is even harder living a dream not yours but someone else's.

Looking back, I had a few of my own.

I was younger, undaunted and unafraid.

I had the world on my feet.

Now all I am is nothing but a dreamer.

A wanderlust, a vagabond.

I just cannot seem to touch the ground.

I am hurting that I have failed to live the dreams I have grown to believe are my own.

I hurt even more realizing that dreams are not mine for the dreaming.

The pendulum sways and that is all there is to it.

I am here but I am not there.

I just simply exist.

I envy those who have dreams for dreams keep them going.

and I

am neverwhere.