Through The Rains

One year ago today
the whole of Metro Manila was submerged in water.
I was silently watching it unfold on cable television
at the dormitory I shared with 4 other bar candidates.

It was the last Sunday of September.
The last 2 exams for the bar.

We could not get any food that day
because the water has already reached the stairs
and to go out would entail swimming in filthy flood water.

I remember looking out of my room's window,
mothers carrying food supplies for their children
not minding the rain and half of their bodies submerged in water.

I was too preoccupied to care.
I did not mind the seemingly unstoppable rain
as I was drowning inside.

I had a different storm to battle with at that moment
and I just could not care less.

Remembering it now I feel really sorry,
not because I failed the bar and a friendship failed,
but because I was a fool to believe in that friendship
and I was stupid enough to have concentrated on that
instead of just focusing on the reason
for being there in the first place.

But most of all, I am sorry because I did not listen to my heart.

To all those who have lost a loved one, a dog, a house
during that storm,
I am sorry.

Today, we look back, we remember, we feel sorry,
but we have moved on,
and we have definitely made it through the rain.

Broken Winged Bird

the night seems still but not my heart
i beckon a song
but it slips my tongue
i cannot remember
the last time
i felt deeply restful
when the stars just glow
and the sky is nothing but blue.

from a friend
this i post
to those wanting to know
or plainly just curious
here is what
i wish to share
when no one is there
or simply couldn't care.

The Bird That Couldn't Fly © By Rebecca Bagley

You couldn't understand,even if you tried,the reason that she cries at night,the reason she tries to hide.

Don't try to come close,she'll just push you away,there's something that you don't know,words she couldn't say.

She tries with all her might,to be herself around her friends,but something doesn't feel right,a broken heart that could not mend.

She pretends that she's strong,a tough outer shell,but there's always something wrong,she's trapped in her Hell.

She wants to speak,to tell you all the truth,but she is way too weak,broken without any glue.

Painfully shy;the bird that couldn't fly.Dying on the inside;a body without a mind.

Maybe if you took the time,find the person she tries to be.

Maybe if you looked inside,you'd realize she is me."