So the DJ said it was "Di Lang Ikaw" by Juris an Original Pilipino Music (OPM), a mellow dramatic ballad about losing that passion in love and breaking up just seems inevitable. The DJ went on explaining the song. A lover's stand when at a point of no return. I have heard every word in the lyrics but I wasn't thinking of someone as I listened. There I was sitting at the back seat of the cab, drenched from the rain with my backpack supporting me from falling all over the sadness that was brought about by the song, I felt a lump on my throat. It's that familiar feeling again that brought me back to my September mourns.
It hit me that I seem to find myself at a crossroad at every turn and it can be tiring. These Poetic Nouns are like my lovers. They have shaped up the way I think and feel, and how I react to certain happenings and turning points in my life. I have created a love affair with these three and so every time I falter and fail I succumb to all sorts of emotions and thoughts. The hurt is a thousand deaths every time. Maybe I am just being too schmaltzy but at that moment I felt the mush running through my veins and I simply cannot apologize every time that happens. So I surrendered to that moment.
When I find it difficult to reconcile my aspirations and my frustrations I tend to romanticize these poetic nouns that have made me fall in, fall out, and fall all over again; aspiration, hope and dream in order to breathe life to them. Through the years I have already created images for these ideals, making them come alive when an eventful drama unfolds almost too frequently. Thus making the real surreal or the surreal real, and of course adding the musical score makes up for the almost perfect excuse to be sentimental.
I really should stop romanticizing my hopes, dreams and aspirations, but for now, please pardon the mush.
Of lost hopes, shattered dreams and broken aspirations, "bulong ng isip huwag kang pakawalan, ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan..."
Pansin mo ba ang pagbabago?
Di matitigan ang iyong mga mata
Tila di na nananabik
Sa iyong yakap at halik
Sana'y malaman mo
Hindi sinasadya
Kung ang nais ko ay maging Malaya
Di lang ikaw
Di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan
Damdamin ko rin ay naguguluhan
Di lang ikaw
Di lang ikaw ang nababahala
Bulong ng isip wag kang pakawalan
Ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan
Pansin mo ba ang nararamdaman
Di na tayo magkaintindihan
Tila hindi na maibabalik
Tamis ng yakap at halik
Maaring tama ka lumalamig ang pagsinta
Sana'y malaman mong di ko sinasadya
Di lang ikaw
Di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan
Damdamin ko rin ay naguguluhan
Di lang ikaw
Di lang ikaw ang nababahala
Bulong ng isip wag kang pakawalan
Ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan
Di hahayaang habang buhay kang saktan
Di sasayangin ang iyong panahon
Ikaw ay magiging Masaya
Sa yakap at sa piling ng iba pa
"DI LANG IKAW", Juris
