My Independence Day

Today I am saying goodbye to you.
Though I must admit
there is a twinge deep within the recesses of my being.
But you are one of the reasons why I took a leave of absence
from my day to day existence
in the life I have been so comfortably sheltered.

Today, you do not mean the world to me,
not anymore.
As I clumsily search for life's deeper meaning
you definitely no longer have a place
in my heart.

I must admit though that I have subjected myself
to willingly wait and suffer for this love unrequited
but I cannot stand still
not anymore.

The ride with you was definitely worth the fall,
but I must pick up the pieces now
and stand up again, not for you,
no, not even for someone else,
but there is this person I have to love more now,
this is why today, I declare it to be my independence day.

Today is my independence day.
Free from you, free from my fears of tomorrow, free from loving no one else,
but me, myself and I.

Goodbye to you.
The memories will surely linger,
but that is all there is to it,
nothing else matters now.

Journeying On

Today I have just received the confirmation
that I am indeed taking on this journey
in a faraway land
where new hopes can be build
and wounds can be healed.

All of the possibilities
and all of the uncertainties
would form part of my new journey
and with these I hope to keep myself grounded,
so that I can be a better version of myself eventually.

A new found friend said,
nothing can better prepare me more than being actually there.
An old friend wished me to become a butterfly,
to experience the possibilities and the uncertainties,
so that I could come back home beautifully.

I have been warned of the hardships
and everything else but the easy.
I hope that the hot summer days there
could melt the coldness in me.
And I hope the cold winter days there
could warm my otherwise stale mind.

And what of the heart?
who knows what the heart can learn,
and though it can be controlling
some things can tame it too.
Eventually is even better than actually.

At the start of this journeying on
while I am at the end of my preparation to leave,
I pray that I will be able to touch the lives of the people
I will be serving through sharing of my skills while in placement.
they will, definitely touch mine.

An Itch

There is a part of me that wants to keep holding on
a greater part of me that wants to let go,
and then there is this itch too distracting to ignore.

It all started with a smile.
Late night text exchanges till the break of dawn.
Drawn to really listen or was it all about that impish smile.

But whatever it was that got you near me,
You had me listening and you had me really take a good look at you.
I saw you. I saw through you. I even met the other side of you.

It was one hell of a joy ride.
The complications, the distractions, the bitterness, the loneliness and the joys
the ride with you was worth the fall.

It was not very long but it was worth a thousand years of life's lessons learned.
In my heart of hearts I know I have come full circle,
but I could not help myself with one more wish.

I wish that we had not been what we became
so we could (have) become what we were supposed to be
because we would have been better.

There are those who are better friends than lovers
and those that are better lovers than friends,
we are the former.

Now, I fear I am losing you because we failed at both.
But I am afraid even more because I might be losing you because I want to
and not because I have to.

There is a valuable lesson I have learned
and I shall take it with me as I journey on.
I have you to thank for this lesson.

There is an itch too distracting to ignore,
but as I succumb to it
I feel restful and satisfied.

Words

It was the way you dress up that caught my attention.
You had me listening because you were good with words.
Words always get me.
I am not sure though what it is this time.
One thing is for sure though,
I may find you interesting and I may be drawn into you,
but I would definitely choose to be a friend more than anything else.

Words.
Just words.