An Itch

There is a part of me that wants to keep holding on
a greater part of me that wants to let go,
and then there is this itch too distracting to ignore.

It all started with a smile.
Late night text exchanges till the break of dawn.
Drawn to really listen or was it all about that impish smile.

But whatever it was that got you near me,
You had me listening and you had me really take a good look at you.
I saw you. I saw through you. I even met the other side of you.

It was one hell of a joy ride.
The complications, the distractions, the bitterness, the loneliness and the joys
the ride with you was worth the fall.

It was not very long but it was worth a thousand years of life's lessons learned.
In my heart of hearts I know I have come full circle,
but I could not help myself with one more wish.

I wish that we had not been what we became
so we could (have) become what we were supposed to be
because we would have been better.

There are those who are better friends than lovers
and those that are better lovers than friends,
we are the former.

Now, I fear I am losing you because we failed at both.
But I am afraid even more because I might be losing you because I want to
and not because I have to.

There is a valuable lesson I have learned
and I shall take it with me as I journey on.
I have you to thank for this lesson.

There is an itch too distracting to ignore,
but as I succumb to it
I feel restful and satisfied.