The Cloud That Was A Dream

Sitting still in a faraway land, thinking about the life I have left behind, I have come this far to stop and listen.

Silence can be deafening and yet I hear it and it is pounding my head.

A shattered dream I can actually hear but too numb to even feel.

I was once young and undaunted, unafraid to face the world in the hopes of living a dream.

Somewhere I have lost the power to steer the wind that blows the energy that comes with youth.

Somewhere I have stumbled and the fall was too painful I have not forgiven myself.

I was lost and found myself again and ran away.

The cycle was becoming vicious and I lost all control.

I lost the grip but still I held on for my dear life, for the sake of those who do not know me and yet love me unconditionally.

The cloud was too heavy and it followed my every move.

The torch I have been carrying for far too long is crippling me beyond reasons.

Yet, I held on.

I have come to this faraway land, in the hopes of healing and finding myself.

I have not been here too long, and I heard the news that struck a lightning unto that cloud.

The familiarity of it is without a doubt shaking me inside.

I am drowning and I feel like giving up makes it easier.

Yet why does it feel so heavy to give it up?

Is it because I have exerted so much effort and so much time that I forgot who I really am and what I want to be?

But that is who I am and that is what I want to be.

It hurts me that I cannot look pass the pain and try again.

I have reached that stage when I have to make calculated steps with my indecisions.

But in my heart of hearts I can.

If only I can forgive myself. If only I can find the strength to be patient. If only I can.